One recent article, "Things I Wont Be", really caught my attention:
"During my twenties and early thirties I was hit with the many things I wouldn't be: married at 22 like my mom, the first of my siblings to wed, a young mother, a youthful grandmother, a couple married for 70 years. Life just wasn't going to work out the way I had anticipated.
And I had a choice. Choice No. 1: I could dwell on the deep sense of loss I felt at the death of those dreams, question God's goodness and become bitter. Choice No. 2: I could grieve the things I would not be and ask my loving Father to show me new dreams — the things “No eye has seen” (1 Cor. 2:9)."
I can't tell you how many times thoughts likes these have crossed my mind. Especially, for whatever reason lately, the part about being a couple married for 70 years. But I as I continued on through the story of Ruth and the remainder of the article, I was encouraged and challenge (once again).
"At some point in my single years, I decided it was futile, and even sinful, to cling to the things I would not be. I could only seek to know better the things I would be: a loving daughter, a loyal friend, an encouraging sister, a devoted follower of Jesus."
Marriage is a great thing and something that can be desired, but coveting marriage like coveting anything else is sin. Instead of focusing on the things I wont be, I need to be focus now on being faithful, making the most of the opportunities that I am given, being a better friend/sister/daughter, and diligently following Christ.
Who knows, what the Lord has in store. His plans may include marriage, they might not. They might mean years and years with a spouse or just hours hours. They may include kids, they might not. Whatever the Lord has planned is perfect and I need not covet the life that I don't have. I will try to embrace everything that He's given me and pursue godliness. And I will pray letting the Lord know the desires of my heart which include marriage and children, but also praying that the Lord would lead me from the temptation to covet the things I am and have not.